The title of this blog probably made you immediately think about Brandy's song, Have You Ever.  However, this piece is about my feelings toward work not love.  That's another blog entry.  

I was sitting at my desk wondering if there are other people out there who feel the same way that I do when it comes to employment.  Have you ever felt like you were just working to pay bills?  Have you ever felt as if you were just wasting away doing a job that you hate?  Have you ever felt that you work all those hours with little to show for it when you get paid? 

Those are the kind of thoughts that I'm having now, feeling like all I do is work just to pay bills and have very little to show for it after my expenses are paid.  Those feelings have led too many frustrating days.  I've gotten to the point where I don't want to get up and go to work.  I'm grumpy and mentally fatigued while I am in the office.  So, I began to question myself, "Is it really about the money?"

The immediate answer was yes.  It is about the money or lack of not getting paid enough.  However after further exploration, I discovered that money is only a small part of what I am feeling.  The biggest problem has to do with me not getting any joy or satisfaction from what I do.  It doesn't require me to think or put forth much effort, as I can do my work in my sleep.  That would explain why I'm grumpy and mentally out of it when I'm in the office.

Don't get me wrong money is very important, as we need it to survive.  However, I have discovered that the true joy and satisfaction comes from enjoying what you're doing.  In other words, doing a job that you're passionate about.  Easier said than done I know.  However, it's important for us to take the necessary steps to live our passion as we will become happier and more productive.

There are three things that I'm passionate about, writing, acting and tennis.  I'm too old and not good enough to become a professional tennis player, so that leaves writing and acting.  I have the writing covered for the most part, as I have written two novels.  Now, all I have to do is get the money to effectively advertise and market my work.  I'm working on that as I'm typing this piece.

Last but certainly not least is the acting.  Acting was my first love, as I wanted to be an actor more so than anything else in the world.  I went to college and obtained a degree in theatre and film, and after graduating, I basically threw it away.  I put my focus and concentration elsewhere, which left a void in my life.  Recently though, that fire to act has hit me again.  I want to get back on the stage and do something that brings me so much pleasure, so I took a very important step on  yesterday.  I auditioned for a local theatre in my area.  I will find out one day this week whether I get the lead role or not.  I'm crossing my fingers. 

So, the moral of this piece is; as important as money is to all of us, it will play only a small part in bringing us happiness and joy when it comes to our work, job or career.  It's very important to find that thing or things that we love and persue it.  This may take some scarifice on our part, as we may have to go back to school, take training courses, take a pay cut until we gain more experience in that area, etc.  However, don't become discouraged because in the end it will work itself out to our advantage.

Thanks for reading my blog and until next time I'm J. Aundre' Clinton.  Peace.